I deleted my tumblr. I got one because I thought it would make me feel closer to everyone, I could see what’s going on with them and they could see what’s going on with me. Nope. Mostly just me trying to be open about everything and getting ignored (surprise surprise). Again, like all attempts to be social, no one talks to me. What the fuck is the point of having a goddamned blog, guys.
I have been depressed, I have torn myself to fucking shreds, I have tried talking about it, I have tried just dealing with it on my own while everyone else does their own thing, I have tried to live a normal life and it’s not working. I want to kill myself and no one fucking cares. And you know what? Neither do I. Fuck if I care, have fun with your fucking lives, I don’t care. I love you more than anything in the world, but if you don’t care, I don’t care.
Maybe people actually read my blog, maybe they didn’t. Maybe they actually read this one and I just never knew. Let’s see how long it’ll take them to figure out it’s been deleted. Probably won’t even notice.
I thought having a blog like everyone else’s would help me feel included and help with the depression, but no. All it does is make me realize they’re all ignoring me. They don’t answer my text when clearly they’re available, they don’t answer anything I do, and then they talk about how they went out and had fun while I sat on my floor and cried and dug a little deeper with an exacto. Fucking awesome, guys. 6 people followed my blog and they were my friends, but I’m starting to think that I don’t have any at all.
I’m gonna go cry under a blanket and hide all my blades